Beauty...
Be your own
kind of beautiful
Be your own
kind of beautiful
By Mollysims.com
This week we talk with the stunning sex-pert, Shan Boodram. Get ready for a candid conversation about quarantine sex life, incompatible sex drives and the pros and cons of online dating. Shan shares tips on dating with dominance and how to be present in the bedroom.
“A sexologist is somebody who studies sex, sort of like how a nutritionist is somebody who studies food,” says Shan. She explains her purpose as a sexologist. “I refer to myself as Dr. Ruth meets Rihanna. My goal has always been to be somebody who can teach the average person who wonders, ‘how can I have more sex, more joyful sex and more joy and intimacy.”
Shan says that she often found women dating with this “maiden in a tower approach” when it came to intimacy. She explains, “they’re waiting for the right, usually man, to come around and show them what they want and tell them what feels good. Women are in the passenger seat of their own intimate fate“. She describes how dating with dominance can look different on anyone, “you decide how directive or how influential you want to be in your approach.”
“The most important thing with dating is less about the other person and more about the environment where the version of myself shows up.”
Shan explains how stepping into an environment that you’re unfamiliar with, with a person your unfamiliar with, isn’t setting yourself up for success when dating. Women can control the narrative. Put yourself in an environment for you to be comfortable. “Set yourself up for success, so the best version of you can show up.”
“The doctor recommended normal is two times a week. Then on the flip side, in order to have a marriage that’s considered sexless, you have to have sex less than 11 times a year,” says Shan. “Two times a week would be ideal for your health, but again, what does that really mean to anybody? They say eat five vegetables a day. I don’t know who does that. So that’s the recommendation doesn’t mean that you have to live by that. Just try to get a couple of carrots in there, whatever you can.”
“I mean, the brain is a pretty basic bitch. I think a lot of people when they hear spice it up, they’re like got a purchase or go on vacation. In truth, if you always make your spaghetti with thyme, and then you add in cilantro, it’s going to taste like a completely different experience. Small tweaks can make a difference.”
“If you find that it is getting mundane and getting very routine, probably check in with yourself, ‘how present am I in the bedroom?‘ Because if you are present, you’re going to have a creative spark. That’s where innovation exists.”
Listen here to the full episode:
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