Lipstick On The Rim: Jackie Schimmel AKA The Bitch Bible on How To Fake It ‘Til You Make it, Bargain Shop Like a Queen & Why Instagram Hates Her.

By Mollysims.com

Comedian & creator of the popular podcast, The Bitch Bible, Jackie Schimmel gives us a lesson on how to fake it ‘til you make it. Get ready to hear why Instagram will forever hate her & how that makes her “edgy.” She shares how she can kill it at an outlet mall in 1 hour and 14 minutes, the Prada item she got at a major discount and why being “zen” all the time isn’t “effing realistic”.

Jackie On The Making of The Bitch Bible

Molly & Emese ask Jackie how she made The Bitch Bible & what she did to get her to where she is today. “Well, I was working as a receptionist and everybody in the building worked New York hours”, explains Jackie. “So I was there alone for four hours, and I was trying so desperately to get fired because the girl before me got a year severance. And I heard about it and I was like if I could get paid for a year, not to be here…that was my only career goal, to get fired.” She goes on to explain how they wouldn’t fire her because she quite frankly was too much fun.

“I was honestly so miserable at that receptionist gig that about a year and a half. And I was like, I have to do something else. So I just started writing really aggressive essays we’ll call them, but they’re blog posts, but I don’t like to say that because it’s so embarrassing.” Insert the making of The Bitch Bible.

[Jackie] Instagram Shadow Ban

“I was on this God-awful influencer retreat, which I was barely invited to. I was at dinner with some girlfriends of mine who are actual, real friends. And I posted a photo of Morgan Stewart and Heather McMann who are good friends of mine. And I said, ‘look at these dumb whores’, I saw the video just sweet. Within hours, I was getting all of these alerts from Instagram. They were saying it was harassment and bullying. And now they’ve deleted me three times and now I’m like on some watch list, so I can’t do anything.”

Molly asks Jackie to talk about her “wholesome content”. Jackie explains, “I was trying to pivot. You know, reframe. So I’m like, okay, if what I’m bringing to the table doesn’t work, I’m just going to like reset and kick it back to basics. I’m going to put that stupid filter on the Kira Kira, I’m going to play that Petite Biscuit song on and create some wholesome Influencer content.”

[Jackie] Her New Podcast: Mind Body No Soul

“Your new podcast is a series of guided merciless meditations, aggressive affirmations, and maniacal mantras led by morally flexible spiritual advisers sitting in front of me,” says Molly. “I hate the wellness community with a burning passion, especially through 2020, like just breathe like you are okay. I hate those people. So in the midst of 2020, I was like, how great would it be if there was a guided satirical meditation podcast for people who don’t give me the deep breaths and the Namastes.”

[Jackie] On The Haters

Molly asks Jackie how she deals with the haters. Jackie explains, “I thank them for the download.  I don’t care about the person whose photo is of an egg. You’re a stranger. Do you understand that? You could walk past me in the street? I wouldn’t even know who the hell you are. Don’t come into my foyer and take a shit.”

[Jackie] On Her Love for Outlet Malls

“I love an outlet. I’m going to Cabazon tomorrow morning. I go all the time, and I wake up really early. I do this one loop, and I could get in and out of there in an hour and 14 minutes, and I’m home by one.”

Listen here for the full episode: